You know you’re a Great Dane owner when…

  • The term “Lap Dog” takes on a whole new meaning.
  • You begin referring to smaller dogs as “treats on feet.”
  • While sitting on the computer you get varies dog toys stuffed into the back of your shirt; when you finally turn around, your dog is starring down at you.
  • You point to the top shelf and say “Get that for momma.”
  • Windex takes on a whole new meaning.
  • Dobermans and German Shepherds look small.
  • You come back from the pet store and suddenly you’re driving a low rider.
  • Your two dogs are running together at full speed (playing) and they start heading in your direction; you dive for cover, fast!!!
  • Your dog glares at you because he does not understand why you are peeing in his water bowl.
  • You sit on the floor because the sofa is occupied.
  • Food is not safe on the dining room table.
  • When butts on the couch, feet on the floor, is something normal.  But guest think it is something remarkable.
  • A regular dog toy last for 5 minutes… maybe.
  • Washing the slobber off the walls and furniture is a regular part of your cleaning routine.
  • Every knick-knack in the house resides above the 5 foot mark.
  • You hand out slobber clothes to guests as they arrive at your house.
  • You use a snow shovel for a pooper scooper.
  • You really can blame rude noises on the dog.
  • Your dog backs out of small rooms.
  • You child-proof all of your cabinets and doors – above 3 feet.
  • Your Christmas tree decorations start 40” from the base of the tree.
  • One of your sleeves looks like it has been starched due to his drool.
  • The sound of running water makes you jump up and yell, “OUTSIDE!”
  • You tell your dog to sit, and he backs up until he finds a chair.
  • It takes 4 people to get your dog on the scale at the vets.
  • Your dog can hide an entire tennis ball (among other things) fully inside his lips and gives you that innocent look that says, “What? I’am not eating anything!”
  • You keep at least one color –coded “drool towel” in every room of your house.
  • After banishing your husband, the snoring in your bedroom still keeps you awake.
  • While stopped at a stop light, everyone stares as your car rocks back and forth because the dog is panting out the window.
  • The monthly dog budget exceeds your home mortgage payment.
  • Your veterinarian has been able to put in a swimming pool, build a large home, buy jet skis and a personal plane.
  • You have had to train your dog not to lick the dishes, and the dishes are in the sink.
  • The pizza delivery people tell you to meet them at the end of the sidewalk.
  • Your dog stands on your lap and reaches over you to stick his head in the driver-thru window at Mcdonald’s and nearly gives the cashier a heart attack when she turns around to give you your change.
  • You purchase a large screen TV and you still can’t see the program when he stands in front of the television.
  • You have not been able to navigate through your house in a straight line for years.
  • Your cats prefer to eat their meals on the top of the fridge.

If you heard it once, you’ve heard it a million times…

  • That’s the biggest dog I have ever seen.
  • Where’s his saddle?
  • Who’s walking who, anyway?
  • How much does he eat?
  • Where does he sleep?
  • Looks like you have your hands full!
  • How big is that thing?
  • That’s a really big Dalmatian!